Cheese Cows and Robots

I come from the mythic land of Columbus, Ohio, populated by obese cows and morbidly obese people. Every year we had a fair where they carved a giant golden cow out of cheese... just like Moses's brother did, although Moses didn't eat it afterwards. The streets were crowded with palaces called Hoggy's and McDonald's and Golden Corral: All You Can Eat, where families dined on a steady supply of genetically engineered meat composite followed by a dessert trough of synthesized glucosey goodness. This is what most people in Columbus seemed to live for. I'll admit, it was a major improvement over the previously favored raw fat ass injection and just as effective. Columbus is the third fattest city in the union, 'nuff said. Without a college degree I was looking forward to working my way through the ranks to become manager at one of these fine binging institutions, there's plenty of work in that sector anyhow.

Recently someone had replaced the service industry workers with machines and I found myself in the grocery store being wished "a really great day" by Robbie the Checkout Robot who had never had a great, terrible, or so-so day in his pseudo-life. At some point I actually began thanking Robbie for his vacuous good wishes... and looking forward to our brief encounters together. It was time to leave or go crazy from the human isolation.

I met a gal from Mexico City who came to Columbus and about a year and a half ago we came back to Mexico City together ( and had some much more interesting adventures around this country). We broke up last August, but have remained friends since.

There are a lot of similarities between Columbus and D.F. (malls, movie theatres, automation, fatties, Segways), but they aren't as prominently showcased here. And I can take comfort that there are still places relatively untouched by modern civilization.. I know because I've seen some of them. I'd love to move somewhere in Oaxaca and live the kind of bohemian lifestyle that I know suits me, but it just isn't very realistic, cuz I gots to work. So I shaved off my beard and cut off my hair and got a job at Bungle Inc. just because I can speak (and teach) english. Basically I teach high level executives how to say words like "fuck" and "shit"... and I'm fucking good as shit at it too. Now I'm pretty well settled in this metropolis and finally feeling like there's something more wholesome in my life. I even quit smoking almost a month and a half ago.

I really love this crazy city with all its circus-like musings, but still, I feel like there's something that I should be doing that I'm not... I'm a big believer in destiny and signs and meaning, and I believe that all of those things led me here but I just haven't discovered their purpose yet. I plan to stay here and keep exploring until I do. I'll never move back to Columbus.