Bungal Idiomas Pt. I - The Interview, "Are You Crazy and Submissive Enough to Work Here?"

Like I said, I work at an english school called Bungle, named after the owner. I shouldn't give the impression that I work in a school with classrooms and blakboards and computer labs and the like... the "school" is really just a big office, with a few conference rooms... no, I always go to my students (and travel hours and hours doing it). I like my students lots and lots; highly self motivated intelligent enthusiastic business types. Delightful. I even like the internal staff of bungle, they're all really nice (almost too nice)... It's Bungle itself that is really the diseased center of it all their stupid protcols and methods and briefcases and bullshit.

pt. 1. The Interview Process: "Are You Crazy and Submissive Enough to Work Here?"

The first day of interviewing was pretty standard; I filled out my personal and employment histories onto clipboard clasped forms. I worked at such an such a place from then until blah, blah, blah. I wrote down my strengths (loyal, motivated, unhip) and my weaknesses (compulsive over-achieving and workaholism) and so on. Then I got an english test which makes sense. No problems there. Then an essay, "The Perfect Class". Uh-huh. I'm to draw a house with a tree and a boy doing something and write a story about that. ho-hum. They ask me my stance on "sexual relations".

wait... what!? back up a sec.

Yeah, I guess this was the psychological/dig up your life portion of the testing process. They asked me that and about what my parents did and how much they made, and if they had gotten divorced or not, what my brothers and sisters did and where they lived, if I dissapproved of people who aren't married living in the same home together, if I approved of having children, what I think of my father, what I think of my mother... Each and every one of them should have to tell me what they think of their screwed up families. What was I supposed to say? That my dad used to punch and punch himself everytime he made a wrong turn in his land rover and that my brother is schizophrinic or a borderline personality or some fucking thing and gave me up to the cops when I was 15, that I grew up in a house where my mom was so distant (or she pretended to be so distant) that she didn't notice the parties and the drugs and the hellfire going on in the backyard... These are the things that stick out about my childhood the most, because I'm a sour motherfucker. There was a lot of good too and that's what I told them about (the rest I made up) but it's still not any of their fucking business, it was me who was interviewing for the job not my fucking family or my sex life or orientation or whatever. lol, I guess these practices aren't legal in the US. Freedom to have a fucked up family. Amen.

Well, I guess I did okay because I came back for 3 or 4 more interviews (they all asked these same questions about my family again) and I'm working there now.

...to be continued