The more she drinks the straighter his teeth get

I went out for lunch with Gaby today, she was all giddy and googly eyed about her new boyfriend Alick and I got a chance to find out why he's hot shit. It's a fairy tale story really; they met in a bar, he has bad teeth, and he likes The Beatles. Charles and Diana didn't even have that much to go on. I think I should report him to immigration.

Seriously though, in spite that I unconditionally hate his queen loving, wrong side of the road driving, tabacco in the spliff rolling, smarmy guts , it's been a long time since I've seen her smiling like she was today. I saw some light in her eyes. She's had it so rough... something good needed to come along for her. Whatever it is that she needs from him, he better give it.

That said, I hope his cock rots off. Slowly.