the day after yesterday

I've been mulling over what's in store for me this year. One thing I recently realized about myself is that I've pretty much gotten everything that I've ever wanted in my life... granted I've never wanted very much for myself, but every little thing that I ever wanted passionatly I obtained and then I somehow ended up rejecting it. And everytime, why did I reject it? Because I either thought I was too good for it, or I thought I wasn't good enough. There have been so many sweet experiences, so many good people that I never fully allowed myself access to and that's because I don't trust myself and I haven't much cared about myself either.

Anyhow, my wish for the coming year is that I care for myself, that I trust myself again, and that I allow myself to attract the things that i want into my life. I guess that's three wishes, but wtf, I deserve at least three for all the candles I've blown out having never made a wish b/c I knew it wouldn't come true. I'm done with that kind of defeatist thinking; everything is opening up for me and this time I'm going to seize it with both hands.

It's been 26 years since I was born. I'm ready to take charge of my life. Amen.